Roy Hibbert: The $14 Million Dollar Cheerleader

Hibbert better pick it up, before it's too late.
Hibbert better pick it up, before it’s too late.

I’m not going to rip on Roy Hibbert because it’s the popular thing to do now. Actually, I feel bad for the guy. But his performance, so, in the playoffs has been absolutely atrocious. 

I looked at some of his advanced shooting statistics last night and my jaw dropped. I had to put in my contacts and hold my laptop up to my face just so I could read the numbers. Yes, the numbers were that small. His rebounding percentages don’t even exist.

First off, how has this man been a two-time All Star and second, how is this man making $14 million/year? In the playoffs, he has a Player Efficiency Rating (PER) of 2.8. 2.8!!! That’s like taking a general course your freshman year of college where the teacher says, “If you don’t show up, you won’t pass this class.” You go home, look at the syllabus and it reads, “Attendance and Class Participation = 75%.” Come on, Roy!

His total Rebound Percentage is a whooping 8.6%, ranking him 108th. His offensive rating is 75, good for 170th out of 199 players in the playoffs. He is committing 3.4 fouls per game and is only playing 21.4 minutes per game. He actually committed more fouls last postseason (3.9), but he also played 36.5 minutes per game, so he is fouling at a much higher rate this postseason. His win-shares are -0.2, meaning he is helping his team lose, not win the game. His field goal percentage, a stellar 35.6% (114th), and his free-throw percentage is 62.5% (128th; he shot 77% during the regular season). His field goal percentage by distance is as follows: 0-3ft (43.8), 3-10ft (43.8), and 10-16ft (16.7). How much worse can that get?

Roy, you’re 7 feet and 2 inches tall; how come you can’t grab ONE rebound? I’m tired of people saying “Well, he isn’t an offensive center, so you can’t expect him to score” or “The reason he doesn’t grab many rebounds is because he ‘defends’ the shot and boxes out so his teammates can grab the rebound.” That’s a bunch of garbage. If someone is paying someone $14 million, you better be doing your job and doing it damn well! There is no excuse for being a liability when your team depends on you to produce! I remember Hibbert saying, either last year or earlier this year, that players like Chris Bosh “scare” him. Bosh is a “stretch 4”, meaning he can shoot three-pointers but he is also quick enough to go by slower big men. Well, Hibbert is slow as shit. I’ve never seen a basketball player from Queens, New York who is as articulate and smart as Hibbert, but also who is as soft mentally and emotionally as he is.

Remember when he called out his teammates, saying there are some “selfish” guys in the locker room? What, that was two months ago or something like that? Who does that? If I was David West, I would whip that boy into shape and tell him to keep his mouth shut. Hibbert has done nothing in this league that is at all noteworthy, and he should be the last person to talk about selfishness (next to Andrew Bynum) because he is taking a HUGE paycheck every two weeks and not producing any results. I don’t care if you’re guarding Kwame Brown or Shaquille O’Neal, you better give your best effort! Grow up. You shouldn’t be happy with being a cheerleader. Your team already has cheerleaders, and they get paid $500 a season!

If I was Larry Bird, I would cut Hibbert after this season. Ian Mahinmi is better than Hibbert and you can always find a big guy to back him up. Hibbert is worth having on your team, especially at the amount you’re paying him.

Sorry, Hibs.

Actually Hibs, you should be apologizing to us.


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